It Didn’t Feel Good, But It Worked for My Good!
- Janay Edmonds
- Jan 16
- 5 min read
When Life Feels Like Too Much
Hey, you. Yes, you.
Have you ever felt like everything was just going wrong? Like you take two steps forward only to take five steps back? It feels as if everything imaginable has happened, and now you’re weary from the fight. You start wondering where God is, if He sees what you’re going through, and if He even cares. You feel defeated, like you’ve been left in this desolate place all alone.
If you feel this way, you’re not alone. I’ve been there most of 2025.
A Year That Changed Everything
If I’m being completely honest, 2025 was a doozy for me. From recovering from surgery at the end of 2024, to dealing with several health challenges. From finally feeling better and achieving some of my goals, only for them to be stripped away because of more health issues. From having COVID on my birthday, to having a myomectomy just three short weeks later. From tonsillitis and an ear infection, to ultimately finding out I had a brain bleed, a lesion on my brain, and receiving a new diagnosis of yet another autoimmune disease.
I know this summarizes what 2025 looked like for me in just a few sentences, but behind it were long nights, painful moments, tears, faith crises, frustration, disappointment, and even anger at times. So if it felt like I was MIA in this exclusive space with you, my J-Bugs, it’s because I was fighting for my life. But what 2025 showed me is that even in the midst of the greatest fight, and even when it seems like all hope is lost, God can and will make it all work together for your good.
Still Trusting God in the Middle of the Fight
If you’re wondering how I can still be in the middle of health challenges, in one of the greatest fights of my life, and still say that it will all work for my good, then keep reading. I hope that by sharing this part of my story, you’ll see just how intentional God is, and how He will still make it all work for your good. More importantly, I pray it shows you that you can trust God, because He is faithful even when we don’t understand.
The Night Everything Shifted
On November 17th, I found out that I had tonsillitis and an ear infection. I got some medicine, went home, rested, and thought everything would be okay… or so I thought. The scariest moment came around 3:30 AM, when I could no longer breathe and my parents had to rush me back to the emergency room. Once we arrived, the entire right side of my body went numb, and the ER doctor decided to do a CT scan of my brain.
He came back and said it looked like they had seen something, but they weren’t sure, so they needed to do an MRI. The MRI showed that I had a brain bleed and a lesion. If I’m being completely honest, I was trying to stay strong, but this was one of the scariest moments of my life.
Carried by My Village
Everything moved so fast. From discovering this, to being transferred to another hospital, to not knowing what the treatment plan would be… or what my life would look like… or even the terrifying question of whether I would still be here tomorrow. In those moments, I leaned heavily on my village. They showed up for me in ways I could never repay. It reminded me that being insulated and not isolated truly matters. If it weren’t for my village and the two people God placed in the hospital to help me, I honestly don’t know how I would have made it through.
A New Diagnosis, A New Reality
After five days in the hospital, I was discharged. Two weeks later, I found out I had a new autoimmune disease called MOGAD. If you follow me on social media, you’ve probably seen my health updates, parts one and two. If not, I’ll link them at the end of this blog so you can hear more in depth about what I’ve faced.
Then, two weeks after that diagnosis, I had what we thought was a MOGAD crisis. It turned out to be a hemiplegic migraine. After a seven-day hospital stay, I was left with severe numbness and weakness on my right side, and now I have to use a walker to get around. Whew, Chile… it has been a lot. This season has tested my faith in ways I never imagined, but it has also anchored me deeper in God.
How Could This Be for My Good?
So now you may be wondering, how does all of this work for my good?
Good question. Let me tell you.
What Looked Like a Setback Was Really Protection
If it hadn’t been for the tonsillitis and ear infection, I would have never gone to the hospital. If I hadn’t woken up in the middle of the night unable to breathe and gone back, I would have never known about the brain bleed or the lesion. If I hadn’t been transferred and later diagnosed with MOGAD, I would still be searching for answers, thinking fibromyalgia was the only explanation, not knowing my immune system was attacking itself.
Had it not been for those “small” issues, I might not be here today. So when I say God works everything together for my good, I truly mean it.
Anchored by Romans 8:28
Romans 8:28 is my favorite scripture, and it’s tattooed on my right wrist as a reminder that God will always work things out for my good. Even though it didn’t feel good going through it, and if I’m being honest, it still doesn’t feel good now. I’m still navigating health challenges, medication adjustments, physical and occupational therapy, and uncertainty because MOGAD is still so new. But I choose to believe not only that it will work together for my good, but that it has been working together for my good.
Choosing Faith in a Hard Place
I’m choosing to stand in a hard place and trust God. I’m choosing to stay anchored in Him, to be open and authentic in our relationship, and to trust Him to carry me the rest of the way.
Let My Story Be Your Reminder
If you’re facing insurmountable circumstances and you don’t see a way out, let my story be a testimony to you. Let it remind you that God will make it all work together for your good. Let it show you that it’s okay to feel your feelings, to have fears, and to be honest with God. The key is acknowledging them, surrendering them, activating your faith, and trusting Him through it all.
It Will Work for Your Good Too
So if you’re wondering how things are going to work out, when they’re going to work out, or if you’ll come out on the other side victorious, let this be your sign that you will. Just like it worked together for my good, it will work together for your good too.
You’ve got this, my J-Bugs, because God has you.
I love you!
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